The economic downturn that is yet to hit Malaysia at its worst is not doing any good to any party. I will find time to update on that soon, I hope. It sounds interesting :P For an individual such as myself, retail therapy is not to be considered an option to clear the cloudy skies. Being someone who used to be able to turn my own frowns into smiles, I've somehow resorted to sessions after sessions of self pity, which I find pathetic. That's not the way man.

Procrastination continues to be a constant issue as intentions of improvement are being cut off. Yes, the phrase "talk is cheap" is repeatedly shoved in my face. Looks like I really should just shut down the computer, switch off the tv's main, sit down and revise my shallow resolutions. Following that, I should print 'em out and paste 'em on the mirror so that I'll be reminded of it everyday. The case should be the same for everything God says to me.

It's worth a try :P

I miss you guys like crazy!

P.S. Didn't manage to snap a picture with supposed-to-be-Melbourne-buddy, Chee Hong :(

Having started the process of going back to the basics, there’s so much I realized I’ve missed or breezed through last year. And as of this moment, it seems that I have yet to let go of what was 2008 – that’s rather negative, don’t you think. What I’m telling myself is I am in the midst of figuring out what I did wrong in 2008 and make amendments for it in 2009. Yeah, that’s what’s happening.

On a lighter note, I am about to embark on the next extremely important stepping stone of life – university *jengjengjeng*. Another disappointing fact of 2008 is the inability to study at the University of Melbourne. No more, “Eh, we pick our subjects and timetable together. Sit at Starbucks and click together! Then we Chinese in the same class!”

Apparently, my mum thought that I would not be able to achieve a high enough TER to enter :P Lo and behold, I did :D *woohoo. The economy is unstable at the moment; we should refrain from spending unnecessarily. Haha, look who’s talking – I’m itching to go shopping!

At the course advice session in Monash the other day, Ee Ling and I saw a few familiar faces – Taylor-ians. And I noticed that they are all dressed in clothes that they didn’t wear to college. Here I am in a top that I had since not-telling-you-when, lol. I told Ee Ling, “Must buy new clothes la, see everyone in new clothes!” Shopping, hehe >:D

If you ask me if I’m excited to start class, I’d tell you that I anticipated college way more. After a whole year of ‘aiming to go to Melbourne Uni’, I’m going to have to do it all over again in university – tough job man. Nonetheless, I’m looking forward to how the lectures are going to be like, and what we’re going to learn about. Management, marketing, financial accounting, economics systems – that’s the business world man, haha. I pray that I’ll do well so I can get into Melbourne Uni next year. Yao Yun, we’ll help each other out; Ee Ling, you also join, ‘cuz you need to go to Macquarie okay.

Cheers to an awesome 2009; although it is already almost the end of the second month.

The trick is to keep yourself busy. Get a hobby, visit the zoo, join a ministry or be a volunteer - just have something on your hands to keep your mind from wandering towards rather saddening thoughts. I suppose it’s how some people ‘get away from’ – or ‘avoid’ – remembering unhappy incidents. It’s becoming quite a norm recently.

Initially, matters seem as if it will turn out alright. We continue with the flow in our daily activities – and that’s keeping one’s self busy without realizing. However, deniability can only last for so long, until it reaches its limit and reality finally sets in. Overnight changes begin to take effect, ‘sudden realizations’ often kick in as well. We notice that dealing with somewhat emotional events is really, really not easy at all; especially because we’re girls.

We suddenly find out about things that have never been brought up front, unexpected opinions, uncalled for dependencies, certain aspects taken for granted. Our perspectives change, our evaluations change, and it’s a bother why there are some things we don’t change when it is obviously necessary. Sometimes, just the frustration is frustrating. What we need is the willpower and determination to plan our own escape. Likewise, even more courage must come into the picture when the time comes to execute that plan – to get out of the comfort zone of sulking/self-pity and jump start the adrenaline all over again.

As I look back (again) on 2008, I recognize again that God has been helping me through everything I stumble in. With the exception of the few mistaken indulgences, there hasn’t been one time my God has failed me. After every prayer, the comforting sense of peace that comes upon me is an answer in itself. Truly every pure joyous moment is a gift from God. Even so, last year was full of ups and downs, satisfaction and regrets, lessons and mistakes.

“Everything that happens at one moment in your life should not be regretted, but to be learnt from. It becomes part of our history, and there’s where we become who God plans for us to be. How would you know when the next growth spurt is when everything is smooth sailing all the way?”

Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Let’s watch that come to pass.

We’re once again discovering what it feels like when you stop receiving the attention you secretly find somewhat satisfying. Your best friend flies off yet again, your once-upon-a-time guy decides it’s best to move on and the rest of your peers carry on their norms. When it all comes about at the same time, we’re left to fall back onto the grey, cyclic routines of life on our own.

Okay, so maybe that was a little unrealistic or exaggerative. But heck, the thing is that I’m noticing many of whom I often converse with are practically leaving. As a matter of fact, it’s all happening as I type this at the office. February hasn’t been much of a ‘love month’. It’s best we try to grab some and store it away for the winter – like Alvin and the Chipmunks did with their nuts (hehe).

Greetings to all! I have decided to satisfy this probably temporary crave of mine to express my thoughts and opinions on a blog. This may or may not last. Then again, as I told Chee Hong on the day he left, that everyone starts a blog when they leave. I’m not going anywhere, but I reckon university is a big something in everyone’s life. And I would like to share what happens with my posse overseas. I can come up with a pretty good excuse why I didn’t blog much last year – because my posse was with me in college :D Now, no more posse :(

“You’re meant to lose the people you love and care about; how else would you know how much they meant to you.”

--The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – love the show (!)